“From Her Heart To Yours…Birth Mother Tells Her Story”
BY SUSAN LYNN FERGUSON, BIRTH MOTHER AND ADOPTEE.
My name is Susan Ferguson. I was adopted by my parents when I was 3 weeks old, and I am also a birth mother.
When I first discovered I was pregnant, my first thought was that I would terminate the pregnancy. My second thought was what if my biological mother had decided to do the same?
I can’t speak for all birth mothers or every situation, but I love my life and my family. I don’t know why my birth mother decided to do what she did, but I do know that I’m grateful she did it.
When the time came that I had to decide whether or not I would actually terminate my pregnancy, I knew that if I couldn’t live up to my greatest value, which is me, then how could I live at all? I know that if I turned my back on this tiny living embryo, it would be like saying “no” to my own existence. As an adopted person, I could never live with an abortion decision, and I literally could not live without the adoption alternative.
Because the identity of my birth mother is closed to me without the effect of a long hard search, I knew when I called the office of Durand Cook that my first objective was to make sure this unborn child would always be able to find me when and if he ever wanted to. I also knew that I would have to choose the adoptive parents.
My Dad thinks I came to him by some sort of strange fate. I call it sheer luck. Although I wanted my unborn baby to feel lucky to have whatever parents he would eventually have, I also wanted him to feel lucky that I chose them.
I wanted to give back not what was given to my parents, but what was given to me. I wanted to be part of creating a family not by the will of some strange fate, but by my own will.
No, it isn’t fate that makes an Austin Robert possible. It’s people like Atty. Durand Cook who dedicate their lives to bringing people together who desperately need each other. Walking into an abortion clinic may seem infinitely easier than 9 months of pregnancy; easier than 8 painful hours of labor and deliver only to leave the hospital without a child. But it wasn’t the walking into the abortion clinic that I couldn’t face, it was the walking out. When I left the labor and delivery room on June 10, 1995, I left knowing that I had lived up to my values. I left proud to be the birth mother of Bob and Leigh’s son. I hope that Austin will love his life as much as I love mine.